Most people I know don't eat artichokes.
I can understand the superficial aversion that most people must feel towards things that look, on a good day, like things that fell out of giant porcupine butts (fact check: Porcupines do not lay eggs. Also, eggs come out of vaginas. Also, this is a gross digression). However, as ugly as they are, the primary blame for their lack of popularity probably has more to do with the fact that they're expensive, spiny enigmas that are too easily ruined by people who haven't eaten them before. Even people who claim to like them screw them up by carving off most of the edible leaves for aesthetics or simply dipping them in melted butter.
To be fair, artichokes were probably never meant to be eaten anyways. They're actually members of the thistle family and grow on exceedingly unattractive little bushes with pale, spiky leaves and look perfectly hideous if they're left to die on the plant. Whatever desperate bastard first boiled up one of those things must have been in some pretty dire straits, which is not unlikely since their homeland, the Mediterranean, has a long history of killing famines that drove people to eat everything from orange pith to children.
Clearly, though, they caught on in the region. And much like the eggplant, everyone has their own manners of preparing them, many of which are stupid. The Lebanese cut off everything but the heart, then boil and bake them filled with fragrant savory meat and pine nuts (which is amazing). The Italians apparently also stuff them or boil them with a bit of mint. The French have quite a few variations using various bits and pieces. The Moroccans for some reason eat them raw (according to my wife EDIT: according to my reliable friend Emily, they steam them). This fellow is a bit too excited about them, but has collected quite a few good ideas as well.
As for me, I roast 'em. Well, boil and roast, but you'll see about that later.
In America we pretty much just get boring old Globes. Not that there's anything wrong with them - in fact they're nice and sweet and a bit creamy, not to mention a decent size for boiling. Since most of them are probably thrown out by stores anyways, there's probably no incentive to stock the many exciting varieties that others enjoy.
My personal favorites are the enormous "big heart" chokes we get in Beirut on occasion, which are the size of a large baby's head and have enormous, buttery hearts and sweet meat on their leaves. Better still, since their leaves tend to be tighter, they don't pick up dirt as easily as the globes - and nothing ruins an artichoke like getting a toothful of gravel.
My process of cooking them is simple. Boil, roast, and dip. Because of the aioli dip, they're probably not the best things for you, but they're damn tasty nonetheless. Also, I'm not sure what to do with the water once I've boiled the chokes. It seems like it'd have some value as a broth, but I've never heard of anyone trying anything with it, and I'm frankly too chicken to give it a go. If someone has a use for it, I'm all ears.
Make the aioli up in advance so it has a chance for the flavors to meld. You can use lemon juice if you don't like purple food.
The Aioli
Ingredients:
1/4 c mayonnaise
1 tsp balsamic vinegar (GOOD balsamic) (adjust to taste)
1 clove garlic, crushed
Step 1:
Mix ingredients together, cover, and put in the fridge.
Step 2:
There is no step 2.
The Artichokes
Ingredients:
2 artichokes
a bunch of water
olive oil
salt
For the baste:
3 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp safflower
1/2 tsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp salt
truffle oil (if you've got it - or try sesame oil for the toasted taste and leave out the safflower)
Mix the ingredients of the baste first, then move on to the chokes themselves.
Step 1:
Cut off the crown of the artichokes and as much of the stem as you can manage. You'll need a large, very sharp knife for this, or you'll likely be missing a couple of fingers pretty quickly. Wash them thoroughly (including between the leaves) and make sure you've gotten any dirt, rocks, dead bugs, spiders, etc. out of them before you boil.
Step 2:
Bring a good size pot of water to boil with salt and a bit of olive oil and put them in. Cover and leave them in for at least 20 minutes. You'll know they're done when they've changed colors and you can stick a fork in the bottom and it goes in with little resistance. Don't undercook them, they'll be gross. The water should look like pond scum. I've never tasted it, but it might conceivably make a great broth. (Homework: try to make broth from it).
Step 3:
Drain the pot and squeeze out the water using tongs. Let them cool a bit.
Step 4:
Flip them crown down (upside down) and cut them in half carefully so you don't crush the heart. You'll see a nice cross section of the artichoke, including a lot of little spikey inedible bits covering the top of the heart. Take a paring knife and remove this layer and the spikey purple leaves. Leave the tender gray and green ones for eating. This forms a nice little bowl for roasting.
Step 5:
Turn on the Broiler or a grill pretty high and put the halves on a pan, face up. Brush the baste onto the open halves of the artichokes, letting it seep between the leaves if you can. Put them in the broiler and let them cook for a minute or two until the tips of the leaves are lightly singed.
Serve them with the aioli dip and a large bowl for the leaves.
To eat them, peel off the outer leaves and dip the bottom in the aioli, then scrape the pulp from the inside of the leaves with your teeth. The deeper you go, the more you'll be able to eat of the leaves. The heart is all edible and tastes amazing. Enjoy.
