Bread Crumbs: Why Buy 'Em?

Actually, the answer to that question is "because they're cheap, and why the hell not?" However, as the molehills that are the little luxuries in life so frequently grow into mountains of longing and/or deprivation due to absurd price markups and/or rarity here in Beirut, I learned how to make my own seasoned breadcrumbs since when I need them I can't find them, and when I find them I can't afford them, and if I bought them they'd probably be filled with weevils anyways. (Such is life)

Making them is fortunately quite easy - all you need is an oven, a cookie tray, some old pieces of bread, something to mash the bread up with, and whatever spices you choose to add to it. If you don't want to use the oven, good luck standing next to the toaster for the next 30 minutes.

Might I add that if you don't own a mortar and pestle, you need to acquire one immediately. They're useful for so many things in the kitchen, and the pestles would also make a nifty club in a pinch - such as the zombie apocalypse, since you know you can't just cut one of those suckers with knives. But I digress.

A note on your bread choice: use anything you want, but if you have the type that has unnecessary chunks of chaff and wood and other such offal, remember that that crap won't mash up and will be part of your crumbs. Also, life's too short to get your fiber through your bread.

Ingredients:
5-6 Bread slices (or a loaf sliced thinly - the thinner the slices, the faster they're ready)
1/2 tsp salt
pepper
basil
oregano
thyme
rosemary
etc. (all to taste)

Directions:
Preheat the oven to around 425. Since our Lebanese oven has an inscrutable numbering system that ranges from 300 degrees (position 1) to 900 degrees (position 3) with bizarre gradients in between, I crank it to about 1.2 and let it heat for a bit. The actual temperature isn't all that important, you just don't want to be waiting for an hour or to pull out a tray of bread shaped bits of carbon.

Arrange the bread neatly, haphazardly or however on the tray, as long as they're not really touching each other. After the oven is hot, stick the tray in.

Wait about 7 to 10 minutes, or (like I do) until the bread starts to emit a slight burned odor. Peek in and test one of the slices. It should snap in half and crumble away nicely. If only the outside crumbles away, leaving you with an uncooked center, you've screwed up and have to throw it all away and start over. Ha! Just kidding, just leave it in the oven a bit longer.

**Note: If/when you burn the toast beyond usefulness, don't immediately put it in the trash, as this may start a fire**

When they're done, remove the bread and crush it into tiny grains using the mortar and pestle - or through some other, more lengthy means. Or a shorter route, like a food processor, if you roll like that.

Toss in the spices and mix well - taste it to make sure it's to your liking, then use and freeze the leftovers, which appear to keep indefinitely without going stale.